Thursday, October 30, 2014

To Comfort the Soul

"Truth isn't always beauty, but the hunger for it is."
~ Nadine Gordiner

I have always longed for a great love
 to comfort my soul.
 One that would nourish
 every need inside and out.
 Inspire the best and with grace
 make the worst disappear.
  A devotion that would
 cradle like a soft crocheted sock
 and protect my very stance
 from the greatest of stumbling.
 Yet, in my search what I have truly found is
 that the only one that can fulfill
 these needs within my soul is God,
and in my foolishness I reach out to man,
again and again at no avail.
It is in the hard fall
that I find the comfort of God.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Lovely Is the Fall

If Heaven made him — earth can find some use for him. ~Chinese Proverb

There are many ways we lose thing in this life, like a tree loses leaves in the autumn wind.
It is not just death that steals from the heart what could or might have been.

More than just a fire can take a house and tear the home right down,
as many trade winds that blow can carry the leaves until they hit the ground.

I did not realize what I had lost until the midst of winter's hardest cold
though you had been falling long before the autumn's rustling winds could blow.

Yet, for everything that is lost, something else new can be retrieved.  
There is a lesson spread upon the path that sounds out like rustling leaves.

One man's fall can be a guide post for another's future steps in this life
for even loss and hurt serve a greater purpose to inspire a walk that's truly right.

My sponsor once asked me why I could not give my son and his addiction over to God.  For a long time I could not truly answer her question.  At the surface I did not know the answer myself.   The following is the answer I eventually gave her:

"I am afraid of losing him, not just in death, but also in addiction.  For anyone who has ever had a child go through such a severe addiction knows that we do not just lose people through death, we lose people all kinds of ways.  When he was in the depths of his addiction, he was lost, and I felt I had lost the true him; the person he was truly in his heart.  I cannot tell you how devastating that experience is, but I understand now that is why I have held on to the fear of turning him completely over to God, as foolish as that may sound.  Even though he might need to go down another dark path to reach the place God wants him to be, I do not know if I could go through that again.  The pain of losing him in that way is beyond explaining.  Be it what it is, that is my reason."

It has been over a year since I wrote these words, and much has happened since then.  I am grateful to say that he went down the dark path again and hit rock bottom there.  He is now very active in recovery with a sponsor and sponsoring someone himself.  I have seen the miracle of recovering in his life and the inspiration of how he can help others that are on the dark beaten path of addiction.  That is what is lovely about falling.  We can reach out for help and get back up again, It is in that process we become a help to others through the example of our own life's lessons.  It may be a hard course, but when it is learned genuinely it is a beautiful one.

Monday, October 20, 2014

A Whisper In a Hailstorm

Now I know, a refuge never grows
from a chin in the hand and a thoughtful pose
Gotta tend the earth if you want a rose.
~Indigo Girls

 At a glance, you cannot see a shadow in the dark.
Its beginnings are as undefined as recognizing
one face in a crowd.
For no eyes have ever taken awe at a 
painting halfway done.
Its colors are as obscure as
the misunderstood ring of
a vaguely uttered sound.
Listing, you cannot hear a
whisper in a hailstorm.
Its vibrations vanish in the wind
unnoticed as a sigh of regret.
For a heart has never been moved
by an act of complacency.
Its message is as uninspiring
as words that were never said.
Linking with Imaginary Gardens for "Open Link Monday"

Monday, October 13, 2014

Blink of an Eye

Self-portrait, Vivian Maier

Every man is his own ancestor, and every man his own heir. He devises his own future, and he inherits his own past. ~H.F. Hedge

It is in the moment of the click and flash
as I focus on what's before me
that the past flashes before my eyes
all memories exposed like film
and I zoom in and click
over and over again
at shutter speed
for a better
picture than the one before
yet it is so easy to blink
and capture myself
again with my eyes closed.

The future is a dark room where the film has not developed yet.  All the photographs that we took in the past are in progress waiting to become clear.  Only we can develop the negatives.  For our lives are a photograph that both leaves traces of our passage, and leads to our destination.

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Fulfillment Is Like A Dixie Cup

Linking with Poetry Jam for Gabriella's prompt "If I were"

 "There are people who have money and people who are rich." ~Coco Chanel

If I were wealthy with more money than I could spend
and beautiful like Mona Lisa attracting all the men
with fame like Marilyn and grace like Fred Astaire
I would have everything I wanted and no worries nor cares
but if I am soberly honest and think it through like a queen
I am certain that this wealth would not truly change a thing
cause no matter where I live be it a mansion or a trailer park
I will still have worries and can still have a broken heart
in fact the deepest problems could possible get bigger to
for the more you got the more you truly got to lose
so pour my champagne in a Dixie cup and fill it to the top
I don't need a crystal goblet I am happy with what I got.

Fulfillment is like a Dixie cup that fills up rather fast
a little is sufficient when you have a fuller glass.

What gives you the greatest fulfillment in your life?

Monday, October 6, 2014

Light Is A Lover With Long Blonde Hair

photo by Kelsey Hannah

 Linking with Poetry Pantry #221 at Poet's United
Thank you Mary. 

Light, God's eldest daughter...  ~Thomas Fuller

Light is a lover with long blonde hair
she reaches out like an heiress
full of beauty yet no cares.

Her touch is warm and soothing
that lies full weight upon the skin
 as she looks hard in your direction
but she will never let you in.

She holds a subtle power that
overtakes the darkest place
bringing forth a certain glory
though you will never view her face.

Saturday, October 4, 2014

Speed Racer

Linking with Imaginary Gardens for "Flash Fiction 55"
The Future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is. ~C.S. Lewis
55 words below:
Here I am fifty one
not everyone in my family
makes it that far
I guess you could say
I am winning a race
I did not know I was running
trying to get to the finish line
I just want to make it there
without getting there
even faster than
the speed of light.